this is how i live my life, the way i want it to be.....maybe not

2006-07-12T15:27:00.000+08:00

In our life, how many times have we made a bad choice? I'm sure most of us have had a fair amount of cock-ups. Cock-ups seem inevitable to many of us. Or is it that some people choose to ignore it as a cock-up and just live with the choice made? Being regretful seems to be unanimous among most people. However, is this the way it should be? Why are there mistakes in life? To persevere and learn from it or to just stop at where you are and procrastinate?
I am, too many, as 'king of cock-ups', have had my fair share of bad luck and lousy decision making. Be it at work or domesticated affairs, i am just bad with it! Honestly, i have been working on this. But it just seem to drift away from me everytime i get close to achievement. Or did i ever come close to achievement? Maybe i lack perseverance. Maybe i should just put aside my ego and put my head down. Maybe i shouldn't be so critical about most things happening around me. But really, i am working on it and for people around me who expect a lot from me, i can only tell you this, 'I will try my best though my best may not be the best you expect'.
Please also remember that, silence from me doesn't mean i'm guilty of something. Or so, i shall say, that i have made my choice and i shall push on with it and make something out of it. Lets hope i do not falter.

2006-03-08T11:37:00.000+08:00

Its freaking 4.30am in Stockholm now. Nothing fucks with you more after fighting jet lag and getting to sleep and somebody calls you and wake you up. My first night in Stockholm and i'm feeling really lonely now. Hu hu... Was in Paris yesterday and what an experience it was. Just too bad that i wasn't with my love one. It was bloody romantic walking down the streets. The withered trees on the sidewalk by those anciently beautiful architectures, and you are alone, made it worse. I will post some pics that i took with my pathetic Razr cam. Forgot bout my camera and i had to make do with my phone.
Yesterday when i was at Charles De Gaulle Airport, Paris waiting to board my flight to Stockholm, the security alarm ranged. I was just checking this French chick up when i saw with the side of my eyes, a bloody big batalion of soldiers armed with French made rifles marched towards me. One of them headed towards me and pulled me to the side. I panicked like when your mum caught you red-handed jerking off in the room. I thought to myself, 'Are they gonna pull me in because i'm a Malaysian?'. Then he took my bags and body checked me. Apparently there was a tip off on some terrorists attack. SO THEY HAD TO CONDUCT CHECKS ON DUBIOUS LOOKING CHARACTERS. Fuck, i felt so offended that i wanted to tickle this 'macho' soldier in specs. Anyway, the flight was delayed an hour and a half. The whole 2 hours flight to Stockholm, i was feeling uneasy and fidgety, imagining the soldiers did not check the plane thoroughly and the bomb was still planted in the plane. Its not funny thinking that the plane may explode in mid-air.
Ok i guess i better hit the bed again. Hopefully, i can fall back into sleep again.
See you guys!

2006-02-17T12:04:00.000+08:00

Mates, sorry for the long lay-off. Happy Chinese New Year to all, i know i've been very late with my wishes. But, better late than never right? So, whats Chinese New Year to Chinese who celebrates it? Its a time when families get together, have sumptuous meals, lotsa red packets (ang pows), gambling and yummy delicacies. I use to look forward to Chinese New year so much as a kid. Now, to me it is just another holiday. I mean, i still have my superstitions, like not sweeping the floor on the first day of CNY(sweeping wealth away).

This year, CNY was a little different though. Was in Melbourne for a short holiday with my family. Apart from the first 3 days of CNY, my New Year was spent in Melbourne. Collections of 'ang pow', needless to say, reduced significantly. Sigh....

2005-12-19T14:00:00.000+08:00

I wrote a postcard to Santa. I hope he receives it. Please........

good to be back....

2005-12-07T16:29:00.001+08:00

This is my fave 'window'. That chick there is a prostitute. There are hundreds of similar 'windows' on the same street.

Hello people! I'm back after a two months hiatus from the blogsphere. Been really busy with work recently. I know some of you out there must be thinking and doubting. Hahahahah.... yes i am really busy and when i do have my free time, i sleep or meet up with my babe.

So what have i been up to? I went to Stockholm and Amsterdam(that's really interesting) for work. However i still had time to snap some pictures. So will upload those as well. Went to Penang for work again(was there thrice during this two months). Good news, my cousin Kevin is getting married this weekend. So thats kinda interesting and exciting as well. Not to mention that i'm his best man who almost did not help at all with his preparations. He understands.... hahhahaha.

Another exciting prospect is....... I'm gonna quit the ciggy by 1st January 2006. I know... i know... i've said this too many times, but lets just hope this time it turns out good.
One question however, will i still enjoy hanging out at coffee joints when i'm smokeless?
What will i do when i'm bored and do not have my ciggy box with me?
Technically, a ciggy box is like a companion to smokers. We do many things with the box.

- The box is for us to juggle and flip about when we sit down while waiting for coffee.
- The box is used as an example of a landmark or a vehicle when giving road directions.
- The box is usually seen in the market and hawker stalls as a shoulder pad.
- The box when u sit it vertical on the bar and a chick comes and push it down with her fingers means u r a lucky bastard.(i've had one such encounter, she came, flicked the box and said,"Oi, wat you doing at the bar alone?")
- The box is a good object to release anger and frustration. Isn't it better to slam the box than to slam the mobile or anything more valuable in anger?

Sigh... the box, my friend... my trusted one!

2005-10-06T19:21:00.000+08:00

Happy Birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday to ronek.blogspot ! One year of blogging.... hopefully many more years of blogging to come. That is if i don't get bored of this shit! Cheers.... blog addicts!

2005-10-06T15:17:00.000+08:00

Why the hell are things so expensive these days? You know, when I was a boy, everything was cheaper. I guess everything was cheaper because it was shittier. Like old 80s toys. How shit were they? $20 for a plastic action figure that can't do anything and whose battle axe you lose in your backyard on the first day of playing with him? I think not, Mattel. Now you pay $50, but you get a real laser gun that actually cuts through 1 cm of human flesh. And what about clothes? I guess they must have been *really* cheap in the 70s and 80s.

One thing the 80s did good? Cartoons. Where the fuck have all those awesome cartoons gone these days? What ever happened to plain old vanilla Astro Boy? Or Transformers? How about some Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? Damn, I'll even settle for Samurai Pizza Cats on a decent time slot. I pity the children of today who grow up watching shit like that. How can one expect to get an education from cartoons that lead you to believe small furry animals come out of little balls and fight each other? Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go into the sewer to hunt for the Technodrome from Dimension X.

2005-09-29T19:08:00.000+08:00

This is me and my love. No further elaboration about her. All in all, she's a very nice gal. I'm happy and thats all i care about.

2005-09-27T17:19:00.000+08:00

I've been rather aloof this couple of days. My obsession in sports have gotten me into this state of aloof dignity. Sports channels are the only TV channels i watch other than my occasional voyeur fix of those very desirable VJs.

First of all, there's Man Utd! A team i supported ever since i lost all hopes on Tottenham Hotspur(forever the mid-league team). How the hell did they lose to Blackburn Rovers(a teamful of rugby players)? For that lost, i had to endure a Sunday of taunting by my Liverpool loving cousins. Shame on you Man Yoo for bringing shame on me!

Then, there's this stupid Spaniard who crushed me! Fernando Alonso of Renault spoilt the Mclaren party. Despite a 1-2 finish since god-knows-when, Mclaren still couldn't stop Alonso from claiming the Drivers Title. Heartbreak for Kimi and me.

But, many thanks(bow gratefully) to GOD, he created Valentino Rossi. The craziest and most talented rider the world has seen. Winning his 7th MotoGP World Championship in Sepang. That lifted the gloom a bit.

Its especially frustrating when you stay up til the wee hours of the night to watch your team lose. This is sports...always bound to have a winner and a loser. So as to speak, i don't pretty much sound like a gracious loser. Admittedly, i am definately not a gracious loser. Nobody likes to lose, but if nobody is to lose, who's to lose?

2005-09-16T19:31:00.000+08:00

Looking at pictures of me and my beloved friends..... i can't help but write a brief description of them.
Lets see ... after being friends for so long, do i really know them well enough?

Yap King Woon a.k.a. King

This guy is the typical protected rich kid. He leads a charmed and blessed life if not for all the car accidents that he's been. Irritating and insensitive at times... but has proven to be a very good friend when needed. My bestest buddy after all these years.

Teh Kai Sheng

Kai Sheng has always been the most quiet in the group. He doesn't talk but he listens. Give him booze and suddenly he grabs everybody's attention... stealing the limelight from me! Currently, he's single, desperate & horny.

Erica Tan Xiao Shan

Too bad she's taken! And her guy's a damn bloody good catch too! Intelligent, pretty, witty, charming and of course THAT car of hers..... she makes everyone's heart skip a few beats! But.... beware! Do not step on her tail.... she can be a pain in the ass!

Daltrie Roslin a.k.a. Asen

Goodlooking Malay friend! He's the one who got me into the addictive world of golfing 2 years ago! Seriously talented bugger. My chill partner.... Lepak Sial! Listens to my constant whining and bitching without complaining..... He just calls me a male slut!

Azmil Aswad

He's walking but he claims he's running. He walking a bit faster and he claims he's sprinting. My goodness! Slowest and laziest player during futsal. He also claims that he was born intelligent but education ruined him. No worries, he's a highly capable fella who has very high ambitions. I'm sure he'll do well.

Soo Huey Chung

She’s the scientifically smarty in the group. Well-read and soft-spoken, ask her anything, I bet you’ll get an answer that shut you up. Very often, she offends with her straight-forwardness, but I can bet my ass, that she doesn’t fucking mean it. Ok la…. Sometimes she gets real bitchy but leave her alone, and she’s the typical sexually active gal next door.

Tania Tan

She’s my favorite! She’s the one with the sisterly instincts. Put me next to her, one will probably see her rolling her eyes a fucking zillion times! She’s the only one who listens to me sing over the phone while in the toilet shitting! My housemate while in Perth… we’ve shared everything there is to share as friends. I love you Tania Tan Siew Li!!!!! Muahahhhahahah……

Gene Chong

She was also my housemate together with Tania. She bullies me. She pinches me. She chases me around the house. It was all because I was impossibly irritating. But she has never once given up on this friendship. Her good traits are almost all hidden or kept somewhere. Somehow she never fails to show me her bad traits. Ahahahha….

Timothy Hoo

Once a member of Fight Club English College (FCEC), he is now a budding engineer in Singapore. Among all, I admire him for his will and courage. He has strived on his own to be where he is now. He makes everyone around him so comfortable with his honesty and laid-back attitude… well his jokes are good too.

You all know what? I treat them as my closest friends thru all these years. They have stood by me loyally and faithfully. Though responsibilities and commitments have drifted us physically apart, I know the bond is strong and lasting.

2005-09-01T18:34:00.000+08:00

.......‘Maybe she doesn’t want to give you a second chance because she doesn’t love you?’
Maybe it’s true. But I try to dismiss that. It can’t be, from the way she treats me, the way her eyes brighten up when I appear in front of her and the way she whispers ‘ I love you…..’ into my ears before I doze off.
I missed her today. Decided to click onto her page to view her pictures and very quickly the tan of my face turned red. I wasn’t angry, I was disappointed. There are no pictures of me and her. Instead picture of she and her ex was up in show. It may be true after all; maybe she doesn’t want to give me a second chance because she doesn’t love me.
I may be disappointed but I won’t give up without a fight. Relationships, as they say, is physically tiring and mentally torturing. I want to be happy in one.

Wassup wif the weather?

2005-08-19T16:57:00.000+08:00

Today’s temperature ….. 36 degrees Celsius!!! Hot …. Too darn hot! Can’t think, can’t work, can’t be happy, CAN’T DO SHIT! Received too many irritating phone calls, and that is truly something I dread. I’m not my usual self today. I have a stinging grudge against everyone I see today. I’ve got a constantly fluctuating hate-list. Damn, I feel like SHIT!

STOP IT, IF YOU ARE……
1) … calling me.
2) … going to call.
3) … asking me for a favor.
4) … asking me to accompany you to some random club which I hate!
5) … going to stop me from going out with my friends tonight.
6) … going to smile at me. ( no smiles for today )
7) … already irritating me. ( you don have to be in the Dean’s List to know if you are irritating me. )
8) … trying to run my life.
9) … insisting that I’m a nice person.
10) … trying to ‘spanner’ my girl away.

I hate to say this, but if you call and I tell u I’m eating, means I’M EATING! So stop talking to me and let me go back to my food.

2005-08-16T13:23:00.000+08:00

More pics from that great nite!

2005-08-16T13:18:00.000+08:00

I thoroughly enjoyed the weekend. Was a gathering of sort. Put together a group of old friends with some alcohol.... chances are you'll see everyone becoming a shutter whore! At least i'm admitting! Hahahah....

2005-08-12T11:09:00.000+08:00

yum yum... my type of dinner. Super tempting.... looks good and taste better! I'm starting to be health-conscious. I starting to develop a 36" waist.... so i better watch what goes in. Sigh....

2005-08-12T10:57:00.000+08:00

No... She's not my gal! But she's definitely my fave.... fun to be with, filled to the brim wif confidence. Yeahhhhh.....

2005-07-29T16:17:00.000+08:00

Everything has changed. The gang is no more a gang. All of us have our own work and life now. Huey and Yap is based in KL. Gene, Tania and Erica in Australia. Fariqe's busy with his racing. Timothy in Singapore working his ass off!

Aswad, Kai Sheng, Daltrie are the only ones left. Aswad's in OSK, totally engrossed with his 'play stocks, get rich fast'. Kai Sheng's always too tired after work to do anything. Daltrie is always with his 'garang'. Hahaha!! Sorry bro! Hakim is technically still in JB. But he can't be included in any plans. He's six feet down.
I miss him!

Thank god, i have my baybees! Jam, Esh and Gis are there for me whenever i need a listening ear. The three of them plus the ever-so-happy and funny AH YAM, you guys ROCK!

Tentatively, my life has been pretty exciting. I gained a lot of ground in work. Love is all good too. Let's just hope this one goes a long way.

Note: Names i mentioned in this entry are friends who i really care and have stood by me for a long time. Lets all get drunk one day and kiss each other's ass! muahahahha

2005-07-25T09:41:00.000+08:00

Friday was the last day of work for my dearest cousin, Kerry and her boyfriend, Shaun. It�s a start of a 2 years holiday for both of them. They�ll be off to Canada to further their studies. Not only will I be missing them as my colleagues, I�ll be missing them as my closest friends, my lunch buddies, my confidantes and also my pakat and lepak kakis!

Shaun, my mate! You take good care of yourself. Study hard and get a fucken monster drag car home! We�ll be proud of ya!

Kerry, my dearest �mui mui�, you too take care! I�ll miss your laughters and constant whining! Be strong and when you need a listening ear, you can always turn to me!

Geezzz� I�ll miss you guys so much!

Vroom vroom... Making a V10 outta my 1.8 WIRA

2005-07-12T18:50:00.000+08:00

I dream of being in a race car. I dream of being in a sub-8 seconds drag monster. Breathing through my Sparco air-brushed helmet as I wheelie off the blocks! Sound of the exhaust exuberating through my ear-cups. Whoa... breath-taking!
Being the entertainer I am, I burnt the tyres with a 'doughnut' upon crossing the finishing line. Imagine the atmosphere, the adrenalin rush and smell of burnt clutch, jet fuel and rubber!
As i walk into the pits, hunky guys HI-5 me and racer chicks flock to my arms.
Wahahahahahahaha

Yep. That is just a dream for now.

2005-07-01T17:38:00.000+08:00

'Kena Kacau Dengan Loser'
I'm worried for Esh. She's under a lot of pressure lately. Anyone can sense the unhappiness beneath her cheerful face. To all those assholes who try to break her, you guys are pathetic and sore losers! Instead of back stabbing her, please give her a chance to have a new start wif her NEW GUY!
Carrying tales of her past is what u do best. U may not know it, but her past doesnt bother her current guy as he's mannered and mature. Her past only bothers mindless and immature guys like U, DESMOND!
Hey, at least she's in love wif someone who's much stable. You have no idea how blissful she is, if you wanna break her. I've seen myself how he cares and love her unconditionally and asshole like u should just disappear into the face of earth.
IN CASE YOU DIN KNOW, DESMOND, YOU STOOPED TO THE LOWEST AND HAVE DEGRADED YOUR OWN NAMESAKE!

2005-06-28T19:53:00.000+08:00

This is me ... but how did i become KennySia?????

Congratulations Ronald Pang, you are...

Kenny Sia of kennysia.com

You have it all, or so you think. Big balls, big bird, big everything. Also a big heart and ever-ready big hug to give out to everybody who needs one. But you didn't know this. You're the one who need a hug the most. So hugs to you!

Which Malaysian Blogger Are You?

Birthday BITCH!!! Wahahahaha

2005-06-23T19:13:00.000+08:00

Dear Huey, you're one year older, one year wiser. I wish you all the best and please stop bumming and get to work! wahahhaha... i do hope i get fired and join your bumming days! Happy Birthday my dear fren!
P.S You like being called a bitch, don't u?

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GAN!!!!!

2005-06-23T18:58:00.000+08:00

ahahaha.... C.K Gan!!! Wishing you all the best! Another year and u'll be 30... enjoy bachelorhood while u still can!

2005-06-23T18:56:00.000+08:00

Happy Birthday Cecilia!! :)

2005-06-16T15:31:00.000+08:00

Daltrie(lucky bugger) & Ron

HEINZ baked beans

2005-06-16T13:57:00.000+08:00

Just had my lunch and my mind wandered off. Was looking at the baked beans on my plate. Reminiscing of the days in Australia when i had left with only a few tens in my bank account. All i ate was baked beans, eggs and plain rice! Pitiful it may sound, i was happiest then. Being alone while munching my beggar-like food... i was keeping in touch with my inner self.

I remember one day when i was eating, mum called and asked me what was i doing. I told her, "MUM, I'm eating HEINZ baked beans! I prefer the other brand that you always buy." Then she went silent for a while... she cried. Hehehe... she thought the money they sent me every month is too little. I'm in such state, all coz of my obsession in Burswood casino. So when she cried, i felt so bad, "i'm sorry mum." I hung up and thats all. Just a simple apology, no further explanation for fear of being reprimanded. I'm guilty of making my mum worried, sad and misleaded!

As i hung up, tears were filling up my eyes. I was alone, penniless and unfilial! I hate myself for that. A drop of tear dripped into my plate and i looked at it blend into my rice. I let go a huge sigh.... and continued wif my meal.

That plate of rice with baked beans and a drop of tear changed my life.
Moneyless days are over.

2005-06-14T19:33:00.000+08:00

WELCOME BACK my bro, Daltrie! You went MIA for a month and indeed u were having a rendezvous in Monte Carlo!!! U lucky bugger!!! U were there where it glitters! Rich chicks wif their skimpy outfit that outlines their 'kacang'(nipples), i'm sure u had a fantabulous time there! But please, don just go quiet on us again. If u left without a word again, i swear to GOD i'll so bloody kick your hairy ass! You got us all worried.

CONGRATULATIONS, to also my bro, Fariqe of TEAM PSP! Having clinch two podium finishes in the ATCC (Asian Touring Car Championship) thus far. The race in Sepang was good but from what i heard, the race in Bira, Thailand was sensational! Led the BMW for a good 15laps til your Michelins had to give up and slowed u down. Keep on improving and i'm sure BTCC(British Touring Car Championship) will want u back in the series soon. Hope to organise our TT soon. SHOWDOWN! MG vs Mitsuoka!!!!!

sob sob

2005-06-13T18:08:00.000+08:00

Maybe I’ve changed the way I think of love. But today I’ve finally seen another side of my dad. An incident today showed how my dad felt. When I woke up, he told me that he had a dream of mum. He dreamt that something bad happened. So when he woke up this morning he tried calling her but to no avail. He panicked and tried calling the whole day and he couldn’t do shit at all. He drove up to my mum’s place and saw her car parked at the parking lot. But she wasn’t home. He got so worried and when my mum responded to his numerous voice mails and shouted at her. Now I finally understood why mum thinks of him this way. He cared and loved her, but in a way no one understood. On this day, I finally understand why mum left him. For the first time in 22 years, I saw the love dad has for mum. It touched me.

I’ve always yearned for a happy family dinner. I know its never going to happen again. The only time when I’ll have a happy family dinner is when I start my own family. That’ll be a long time to go.

Its midnight and I’m sitting by the pool of my mum’s apartment, writing this entry. Playing on my laptop is some sappy classic songs. No ACDC for now.
Tonight I chatted with someone I had such deep feelings for. I must admit that as much sadness and pain I felt, I’m happy for her. At last, she knows what she wants or at least how she feels. Tell me; how one should feel when the one you love tells you that she still misses her ex? The feeling sucks. I want her for myself so much. Maybe its retribution I’m getting for all that I’ve done in the past. This is crazy. It’s getting to me! I love her but I’ll be happy if she finds what she truly wish and want. Arrghhh heart-wrenching!

Loneliness I’m used to, but heart-wrench is truly a new experience. Bloody thing about love.

Pyscho and a burden? Yes, i'd like to have u!

2005-06-07T16:59:00.000+08:00

"I am a pyscho and a burden. I don't want a relationhip."

Whoa how's that for a 'right on your face' answer? I walked into the conference room right after being smacked with that sentence on the messenger. That was a real smack huh!

WHat? Of coz i'm hurt. It felt so wrong. I was speechless and left to wonder if happy endings do happen? Apparently, it's not gonna happen as yet. I'm still far from happy. Not that my expectations are high, just that it ain't fulfilled yet.

I've done all i can. I've tried my best. All i want is another go at it. If best ain't good enough...... tell me what should i do? Don't tell me to go on with my life coz loving you is part of living my life.

razr v3 .... wahahhaha

2005-05-24T19:10:00.000+08:00

My life has just got busier. But i'm not complaining. We've got the 'biggie', the Motorola project. I'm happy and i hope it doesn't turn out like Sony where we had so many rejects. Its going to be tough, tiring and long project but i'm sure the family can do it.
To all my friends out there, i'm sorry i'm gonna be missing for a while. I'm gonna limit my yum cha sessions and preserve my energy for work.

Apart from all this, i'm having another problem. But problem is, i dunno what problem am i thinking and worried about. Its like i'm feeling uneasy bout it but yet i dunno wat is it. I have dreams everynight but i don normally dream. I think i have an unstable unconscious state of mind. Pls la... gimme wet dreams la!!!!
I'm feeling very tired, i've not had sex for months, i've not masturbated for weeks, its slowly dripping. I'm having a dry spell. Pity me people... pity me.

P.s. Baybee, u r just too special for me to forget. I miss you so much yuechin...

2005-05-19T20:34:00.000+08:00

Life's a bitch. I've been patient! But, everything's gonna change from now. Its been 4 weeks, my mood's still lousy, feel like shit! Work's not helping at all. Been busy wif the upcoming Motorola plant audit, that is happening tomoro til Monday. My record of working late had been broken, i feel few can match my record of working til 5am. Yup, that was how late i worked on Tuesday. Just hope we'll pass the Motorola audit. Dont let my efforts go wasted.

ok la... i gtg do my work. Wanna let u guys know that i miss yc super much! what am i suppose to do???

the killer

2005-05-06T11:28:00.000+08:00

Two birds
One bat
Three dogs
One cat
One 'big' lizard
and if i'm not mistaken, one chicken.

Thats my track record of Frags while driving. I feel like a hazard on the road. I'm like a killer my friend say. Its not that i wanna kill, i rather kill an animal than avoiding it and endanger my life. I was forced to kill.

Note: An incident with a bird last night prompted me to blog this. Not to show off my abilities in silencing animals n birds.

The Realisation Of A Lost Rebellious Spirit.

2005-05-04T17:31:00.000+08:00

My life is like a menstrual period. I get shit happening every month. Well sometimes i get happy shit. But more often than not, i get SHIT SHIT! puik! Lousy life i must say. Not that i wanna whine or bitch, but i really cannot take it anymore. I'm bursting!

I'm occasionally faced with family, financial and friend issues not mentioning matters of the heart! Then again, unusual shit also happens to me. One perfect example is the lost of my car. It will be a common 'SHUT UP, RON!' tactic employed by almost everyone in the family now. I've lost my freedom of speech..grrr.

I am very fucked up! My once healthy bank account has since shrunk, almost non-existent. I am struggling to keep my life afloat and this is no joke. I'm on the brink of poverty! Wahahaha <--- *CRYING SOUND* ....

Then just now, my father called me up and fuck me up kao kao(big time). Totally never give face. I tried to shrug him off by telling him i've a conference call in 5mins but he still continued. Wa lan... Business not important anymore apparently. He called me a total of 4 fucking times. I was so fucking affected by all the fuckings i received. He fuck me for fucking POINT A to fucking POINT B to fucking POINT C then go back to fucking POINT A. He even went all the way to fucking me for things i fucked up 6 years back. Sigh... He's my father and he reserve the rights to fuck me. So i keep quiet but deep inside me, i was boiling, was sad, and felt like breaking free. Suddenly i realised that, the REBEL in me has vanished.

Dude, where's my BJ?

2005-04-26T18:01:00.000+08:00

Wahahahah... my bro was complaining to me about his sex life. He thinks he's the only one with a problem. Hey, i'm not complaining, am i?

king says:
shit dude... i havent had a gf that can perform good bjs
king says:
pathetic man
life on public display says:
its ok ....
life on public display says:
life sux
life on public display says:
***** cant do it ka?
king says:
shit dat one only once ok... and dat time i still dunno wat is bj or masturbation ok
life on public display says:
ahahahhaha
king says:
cant even enjoy a bj... dun even know how to shoot
king says:
i got bored after like 2 mins
life on public display says:
so u prefer bj than sex itself la
king says:
i dunno.... cant comment cos havent had a power one b4

But then again, how many of us guys out there are able to satisfy our partner's wants and desires? I admit there were times when i couldn't. Fucking died on me! Reason?? Too tired from work and all. Drank too much. Embarassed but its a common men issue. Sometimes we shud just be happy for what we are getting for we might not even get any if we complain too much.

2005-04-25T14:21:00.000+08:00

Contrary to my belief that, ‘stupid things must say but doesn’t mean must do’, I had a silly but fun yet tiring road trip with Huey to Singapore early Sunday morning. It was a boring Saturday night for us, as we sat in Heritage Hotel sipping our drink when I suddenly came up with the idea of driving to Desaru. She thought I was kidding and suggested Singapore, to have coffee and chill. Of course, nobody dares Ron to such things! 30 minutes later, I was already at her place, ready for Singapore. Had our passports, full tank of fuel, and new change of clothes but were cashless. It is somewhat stupid that all ATMs are closed after 12am. What if we needed money urgently in the wee hours? Somebody should do something about this stupid and brainless ruling. At least leave some ATMs in operation. What a fuck stupid way to deter burglary and theft! Anyway, never worry about being cashless when you have friends like Badul. Filled with cash to the brim, he’s always worried nobody want to borrow money from him. Hehehe…. He readily lent me the cash I needed.

Mind you, according to Huey, I was driving insanely fast right? I was speeding but everything was under control and wasn’t horrifying at all. I had a few close shave that’s all. Anyway we were supposed to have coffee and chill, but after all that we went thru, wouldn’t it be wasted if I didn’t show my face in Velvet? Fuck yeah, the sort of mood I’m in, Velvet’s a better choice than being in Coffee Club Express surrounded by loving couples. Made our way straight to the bar area and quickly settle ourselves down with a nice Vodka. Velvet’s nice, always packed with beautiful people. I somehow felt at home. Met this chick, Michelle, who was seated beside us, started a conversation and fuck, she had shoulders I like! Hahahaha… The night ended without an exchange of numbers though. The same went for Huey. She was approached by my American friend, Mike, for her number but she said, ‘Nooooo’. Hahahhaha… A cute American doctor asking Huey out, but she declined! I think Huey will end up marrying a Caucasian. Good la friend! Big dong dong!!

We ended our ‘exciting’ night at 5am. I have a feeling, I’m going to start clubbing in Singapore with Gan again. A little effort for too much fun sounds good. Ahhh… Velvet’s my favourite!!

2005-04-20T02:56:00.000+08:00

"Love is what makes you smile when you're tired."

We often ask ourselves what is love? And very often, we get it wrong and approaches to love go haywire. Thats when you encounter bad experience with love. What people really want more than anything else is to be loved unconditionally; to be accepted for who we are, and still be loved. Sometimes we will do some crazy things, in the name of love. Love is actually the choice one makes to put someone's wishes, desires and needs above our own. Many people confuse the word love with the meaning of the word want or desire.

I have had much experiences with love. But whenever i put in the effort and whole-heartedly pour my love, it wouldn't last. No matter what and how i approach the relationship, it just wouldn't work out. So what am i suppose to do? Do i continue loving or do i stop loving and be loved instead?

My beliefs in loving a person more than she loves you is faltering. If it is to be loved, it should be both person to be at receiving ends. Well i think thats quite a difficult emotional factor to control. If to love means, being hurt and to be loved means, to hurt, how am i to search for love again?

Now that i've found love, I will not give up loving her unless its unsalvageable. I have come so far, loved so much, i've got no more fear in pursuing what i've found at last. I'll weather the storm.

With love in our lives, we are empowered beyond belief. Wow, what a statement! Hahahhaha.... People, happy searching for love!

"You can break love, but it won't die."

Wa lan, this is so freakin 'jiwang'.... can't stand myself! Muahahhahhaha....

my IQ

2005-04-19T14:36:00.000+08:00

heh... don think i'm that far off. i'm not so stupid after all. I do not have an IQ of 130 but this shud be sufficient. Hopefully...

The Classic IQ Test
What's Your IQ?
Congratulations, Ronald!
Your IQ score is 120

This number is based on a scientific formula that compares how many questions you answered correctly on the Classic IQ Test relative to others.

Your Intellectual Type is Inventive Inquisitor. You have the unusual distinction of being equally good at math and verbal skills. This means you are a creative thinker and are uniquely good at teaching others through experiences. You are also a great improviser and very good at handling change.

bahasa melayu as first language??????kiddin....

2005-04-19T04:59:00.000+08:00

Its ok if u can speak malay properly but when u can't, don't even try. Direct translation suck. Hoo n me were trying out.... it was terrible, horrible, vegetable! Two bloody apek trying to malay speaking somehow cracks me up...

i'm ere for u to smack...smack me good says:
eh saya hantar u surat elektrik lagi best
Keichi Tsuychiya TM-V4 -Miss My Family- says:
sudah nampak
Keichi Tsuychiya TM-V4 -Miss My Family- says:
hahahhaha
Keichi Tsuychiya TM-V4 -Miss My Family- says:
surat elektrik sudah capai
Keichi Tsuychiya TM-V4 -Miss My Family- says:
saya sudah berjaya menerima surat tu
i'm ere for u to smack...smack me good says:
ada banyak lor...
Keichi Tsuychiya TM-V4 -Miss My Family- says:
serahkan kepada saya
i'm ere for u to smack...smack me good says:
nanti saya kumpul dalam surat dan hantar dgn cara elektrik pada mu
i'm ere for u to smack...smack me good says:
hahah
Keichi Tsuychiya TM-V4 -Miss My Family- says:
ohyah
Keichi Tsuychiya TM-V4 -Miss My Family- says:
terima kasi bebanyak tu
Keichi Tsuychiya TM-V4 -Miss My Family- says:
mg bleh jump start kah
Keichi Tsuychiya TM-V4 -Miss My Family- says:
kelatch tak makan
i'm ere for u to smack...smack me good says:
oh tidak mangapa...
i'm ere for u to smack...smack me good says:
oh suda bleh
i'm ere for u to smack...smack me good says:
karang tengah buat
Keichi Tsuychiya TM-V4 -Miss My Family- says:
kasi botak buat
Keichi Tsuychiya TM-V4 -Miss My Family- says:
dia tu pakar mg/mini terbaik di JB
i'm ere for u to smack...smack me good says:
tak bolh ... nanti dia mengeluarkan kebolehan(sabo) kereta
Keichi Tsuychiya TM-V4 -Miss My Family- says:
hahahahhah
Keichi Tsuychiya TM-V4 -Miss My Family- says:
megacaukan enjin setting
i'm ere for u to smack...smack me good says:
ye la....
i'm ere for u to smack...smack me good says:
macam sial
Keichi Tsuychiya TM-V4 -Miss My Family- says:
alamek
Keichi Tsuychiya TM-V4 -Miss My Family- says:
sedang menuggu twin weber
Keichi Tsuychiya TM-V4 -Miss My Family- says:
suara yg power tu
i'm ere for u to smack...smack me good says:
hahhaa
i'm ere for u to smack...smack me good says:
akan datang
Keichi Tsuychiya TM-V4 -Miss My Family- says:
wraap wraap wraap
i'm ere for u to smack...smack me good says:
brooooooooooommmmmmmmmmmmmmm
Keichi Tsuychiya TM-V4 -Miss My Family- says:
saya akan balik (B RB)

I guess i shall just stick to english from now.... i do not discriminate the language but i'm just not fluent wif it! kimak betul...

2005-04-15T15:48:00.000+08:00

different ways of sitting.... my bro Hoo, is really trying his best to be different! check out that stance of his! wat a stunner.... Judging by the picture, one must guess that he's a HUGE fella. He sent me this pic and said that whenever i needed a miracle, pray to this picture. Hehehheheh... funny fella!

gigolo

2005-04-12T18:54:00.000+08:00

gig·o·lo ( P ) Pronunciation Key (jg-l, zhg-)
n. pl. gig·o·los
A man who has a continuing sexual relationship with and receives financial support from a woman.
A man who is hired as an escort or a dancing partner for a woman.

i was at the topic of gigolos with my collegues earlier. One question i've always pondered... wats that guy thinking? Now, i've had friends who moonlights as a high class prostitute. But guys who sell their soul and flesh... wassup man? I agree that getting paid for doing something u like is great. But by doing that means degrading oneself, losing pride and being forced to eat humble pie. Would you still do it? I wouldn't, not even for a million bucks. Imagine going down(all gigolo have to do it) on a wrinkled pussy. YUCKS.... pussy with grey hair(according to YC).

Came across this self-ad by a random guy.

Dear Girls,

I am a lonely Asian male who would like to have a girl friend. If you interested, here is my picture on the left. Am I not hot? When I was in my Indonesia, I was a gigolo!

Gigolo
A Professional Dancer or Lover who is hired as a companion by a wealthy Women.
I will not tell my age, I am very WEALTHY as you can see all the gold I am wearing. They are 100% real and not the cheap ones you see many Americans wearing. I drive a 1999 Mercedes Benz S class.

If you become my woman, I will treat you like a princess! So please email me, I will be waiting.
Lonely451@excite.com

If you would like to call me, my phone number has been removed due to prank calls!!. I live in New York City, Queens. Email, please satisfy a lonely man. Good Bye my Future woman. :)

Fucken classic! This is how a gigola sounds like even when he's looking for a girlfriend. Old habits die hard. Sigh...

think i can be one? 'BLUE STEEL' LOOK

i'm not someone...

2005-04-11T17:33:00.000+08:00

This is me.....

i'm not someone who she wants but why does she love me? Its weird but i believe that in life it isn't about wat u want. I may not have been the greatest guy but i know i'm sincere and true. AT least i wouldn't try my best to hurt her and mess up her life. I'm willing if she,in turn, messes mine up. Its not about getting what u want.... its about appreciating what u have.

*no pun intended*

2005-04-06T17:08:00.000+08:00

Last weekend was a blast! It wasn't good, it was great! Enjoyed myself too much that i found myself struggling at work. I had it all last weekend. Yue Chin came from Melbourne, a family dinner( at last ) and good rest. For the first time, we had a happy family dinner but with the addition of my sister's boyfriend and Yue Chin. Though it was just a simple dinner but it was one filled with warmth and joy. Seldom see my dad so chirpy... spoke a lot to yuechin. Well, mum n dad spoke a lot too. Anyway my parents like yuechin a lot and has warned me not to stray. I don't think i will. I hope yuechin was comfortable the whole time she was in JB.

Now back to work. I am suddenly lost. Lost my direction. I'm losing hope at work fast. I'm tired, exhausted and too stressed. Ultimately, its the stress thats gonna pull me down. I'm not good with stress. Studies is slowly creeping back into my head. It is the only solution. I WANT MY OPTIONS. By studying and graduating, i'll have OPTIONS. Options to go anywhere i wanna go and not stuck in a lonely world where work is the only battle i fight. I wanna fulfil my wish to work in a corporate and urban jungle. Not work for my family in a Magnesium factory in a real jungle. Metalogy is just not my cuppa tea. I need something lighter... I'm still considering and i hope to get an answer soon.

2005-03-30T14:09:00.000+08:00

i'm currently the talk of town. Everybody's asking me how i lost my car. I'm sick of it, tired and really annoyed. YES MY CAR WAS STOLEN!! I've been asking myself, 'Why, why must it happen to me of all people?'. Anyway, its a 'has been' as far as i'm concern. Life goes on...

2005-03-29T18:55:00.000+08:00

How do you term being in a state of two extremes? I’m trying to figure out the word but without success. Anyway, yeah I’m in this state of two extremes. I’m ecstatic but also sad at the same time.

After months of anticipation, my princess is finally back in my loving arms. I’ve at long last, able to introduce her to my world, my beloved city, my family and my noisy friends! She’s gotten considerably well with my family and friends alike, but she still can’t get use to the pace of life here. Coming from a metropolitan KL, JB is just too slow and boring for her liking. I hope to get her comfy with JB. My mum loves her. Thinks that she’s adorable and has a very bubbly personality. On the contrary, I find my princess cool. So she’s back and I’m happy.

I am saddened with the demise of my car. I had dinner with Yue Chin on Sunday at a noodle shop. We were planning to get some coffee after that when I realized that my car wasn’t at where it was supposed to be. Bloody hell, as I stood there staring hard at the empty parking lot (trying to see if my car was transparent), I broke out in laughter. I didn’t know what to do. How was I supposed to react? Cry? No… I’m way too tough! So I laugh… so did Yue Chin. She wasn’t being insensitive but it was just too funny not to laugh. About an hour later, I went through depression state. I felt so guilt. I lost the car. Yesterday, I realized that my car was on third party insurance policy. Meaning the policy only covers accidents NOT theft! It was a mixed up in the finance department of my company. No claims from insurance company. Losses will be self-absorbed. Yup, these things do happen. SHIT HAPPENS!!!!!

All in all, it was an eventful weekend for me. Total expenditure??? Priceless!!
I’m off to play GRAN THEFT AUTO now….ciao!

2005-03-24T18:35:00.000+08:00

the topic on oldies will up next.... as promised in 'Grid girls'.

errant buggy drivers.......

2005-03-24T17:57:00.000+08:00

ever walked into a golf course? notice that there's always an information board. on it will always be a section on buggy accidents or incidents they call it. it amazes me how the golfers achieve those feats. call them anything but i think its pure stupidity. buggy in the pond, i think, is by far the most common. every course will have a pic of the buggy in the pond. ever wonder, why is the photo without the golfer's face? instead its always the poor caddies trying to salvage the situation who appears in the photos. i'll bloody post that fella's face all around the club house!
now, u must be thinking why am i so crossed? i happen to have a golf buddy who drives a buggy as though he's in a race track. having thrown his girlfriend out from the buggy while drifting thru a corner maintains a high point in his portfolio. he almost threw me out into a pond the last time he drove me. if u ever play in any courses in Johor, i can proudly claim that my dear buddy is the sole cause of G.U.R.(Ground Under Repair). I haven't sat wif him for a long time since, i'm afraid, i'm petrified, i am buggyphobic! ALL THANKS TO HIM! Well, i don hate him, but i'll never ever share a buggy wif him again if i can. Errant buggy drivers are nothing but a hazard on course, no matter how good a golfer they are. Golf courses demand monetary compensation when accidents happen but money to most golfers is nothing. Public humiliation sounds like a perfect solution.

Grid chicks...

2005-03-22T14:50:00.000+08:00

yeah was up in kl during the weekend for the Grand Prix. So excited bout the trip, shaun, kerry and me was counting down to the day a week before. Its was all fun. Jokes were aplenty. Though we got lost while trying to get to MidValley, we were still all smiles. And that was at 2am. Left JB at 10... arrived in hotel at 2!!! Everything was funny, even the supplier who brought us to kl for the F1 was damn funny! Name's Lim Lark Sai... laughs the loudest and cracks the same joke over and over. Back at the race track, it was a fantastic race! Full of drama n excitement. What brought the biggest cheer to me was when seeing TEAM FEARRARI being challenged by the underdogs. Actually they lost to the underdogs.... How pathetic. Mike shud have just retire at the top. That man has already enuff money to last one village for a lifetime. Wat more does he want? Records? He's broken every single record there is to record. He just simply dum! Anyway sheer joy that i witnessed the downfall of a used to be FEARLESS team. Cheers for Renault and Toyoto but for my fave, McLaren, they did their best, still my fave!

.
.
SPOT THE FEARRARI cars..... they got lost! WUAHAHHAHAHHA

.
The funny man...

Before the race i was at the McLaren party. As usual, arrived fashionably late. So as we strolled into the convention hall, pairs of old eyes were fixed on us. *just thought of giving a special mention to the golden oldies* Will tell u more abt the oldies at the event in my next post. Food, drinks, fun and grid girls were provided. DID I MENTION GRID GIRLS??? yeah they were there! With their super skimpy outfit, one will really kill to screw em! So there they were, flashing their camera ready smile, showing off their breath taking curves. I was indeed breathless. So got acquainted to one of the chicks, chat abt life then suddenly she was asking me out. She dropped big hints! Was i being targetted? Was i hit upon?? wuahahahh ... watever that was, it sure felt great! Those were chicks, guys drool and wish for so much. yet i'm at a junction. I had to make a decision. To screw or not to screw. Fyi, i've been SEXLESS for months! So i was bloody horny! Judging from her body language(her body was curling away like a snake*general description only*), she couldnt wait to get on my bed! I DECLINED! I turned her down. I was shocked! She was dumb-founded i guess... but mates, that the power of love. My love for Yue Chin is just so real and beautiful, i couldnt bring myself to breach her trust. Ok seriously, what did that grid chick see in me? I feel that i'm weak, i'm a whiner, i'm insensitive... Do i look like i'm a 8incher? why me, why me? Lets ponder....

shud be a nice weekend....

2005-03-11T15:32:00.000+08:00

its the weekend. and yet again, i've got no plans. nobody's in the office. kevin's in kl for the weekend, kerry's in singapore and ronald's stuck in kota tinggi. my mood's good and i'm certain it will be for the rest of the day. i've got no customer visits today, quite little work. OH! just received a message from Khim Joo, 'Golf is confirmed on sunday. Palm Resort at 12.30, meet at 12pm!'. i guess thats my plan for the weekend. suddenly i feel old. i've aged. i've mellowed. gone are the wild party days. a slow night with a couple of drinks sounds nice. nothing too straining, nothing more enticing.

Ahhh... yes my ex will be getting hitched tomorrow. YES, its a shotgun marriage. how careless can people be. i totally disagree with her choice. first of all, she's unsure of her relationship with her soon to-be-hubby. and according to her, she'll be lucky if her hubby doesnt take money from her, let alone support a family. and even better, her hubby still hasnt broken up with his girlfriend. they are not even married yet but i can guess that it'll be a broken one. anyway that fella suck big time! living off women is his forte, making girls happy is his strong hold, Love-A-Duck will be his slogan!Please take note: I AM NOT BEING BITTER, I AM JUST BEING A FRIEND!

my wish...

2005-03-10T16:45:00.000+08:00

i have a wish! i wish for time to turn back. i wish to be back in 1996. then i wouldnt have turn bad. if only i concentrated on my studies and not go out when i was supposed to be home. if only i did not rebel.

Everything went wrong from the day i decided to step out! Step out from my comfort zone, that is. If u din know, my parents were very protective of me, always going the extra mile to keep me in check. I couldnt take it anymore. I bowed to peer pressure! Changed from a 'nerdius' to wild child in no time... started smoking, took drugs, fought everyday n getting into trouble in school was soon a routine. Chicks come and go. As easy as they come, as easy they left! I was not to be trusted easily. Lies after lies, it just grew on me. As bad i may be, i did not let any of my frens down. I cherished and protected them. I love all my buddies! They gave me a chance, they understood me, they stood by me! Fast forward to 2003 , i realized i was just wasting my life away. Decided to change my approach in life. I grew mentally stronger. My sense of respect for people developed. I was bolder yet wiser. Relationships seem to last a tat longer. Conversations wif dad n mum no longer end wif an EXCLAMATION mark anymore. The trust was slowly gained back as i grew. Now i'm turning 23, looking back, i realise how stupid and foolish one can be. I may still be a bad lover but i'm slowly picking the ropes. I may not be a SAINT but i'm taking the right path. I may not be perfect but i know u guys still love me! I'll try to love my work, make the most of my opportunities and not let distractions get in my way. Any of u out there wanna take me out? I'd say FUCK U! Life for me now is just too good for me to go screw it up again! I've found someone i love, i'm happy at work, I'm almost contented!

Life wouldnt have been so harsh and tough if i did not take the left turn instead of going straight. Reality is harsh, if werent for its harshness, i'd stil be screwed!

My Life As A Swinger.

2004-10-07T06:41:00.000+08:00

Was having my cuppa tea with my gang of cool dudes n dides ( a legend's term for female dudes) and had an idea for my next blog. Now that i've already announced that i'm a legendary swinger, i might as well let u people out there know how i live my life as a legendary swinger. Potential emulators, sit back and soak it all in!

My fucking day starts at 7 a.m. Hafta be early.... ' the early bird catches the worm'. First things first.... check out my 'out of bed' look. Look attentively at my hair/face.... cause this is the most natural look. I would say, it is the 'real' YOU! Soon after that, i'm off for a warm shower. Get dressed and before leaving the room, puts on a MASK! C'mon.... seriously! Everybody puts on a mask. There is no such thing as the 'real' you out in public.
Will normally be in the office by 9a.m. Check my mail, see if any chiq sends me shit. Unfortunately, for the past few months, i've been receiving Multiply's alert message. No such luck with hi-tech hook up. After that, i'll be kept busy thru the day with agendas agendas and agendas! My normal working hour ends at 6p.m. but due to my 'enormous dedication' to my work i stay on til around 7plus8.
The drive home is approx. an hour long drive from office. While on the way home, the swinger's phone's name list is constantly being scrolled. Work is work, but once i'm done with it, i'm on the prowl again! Will then proceed to make some calls, arranging dinner dates. After a hard day's work, it feels good when u have someone who appreciates good company! Good company? Fuck, it comes in a package rite? I pay for dinner, i am cute, i am fun, and i am sexy. The chiqs will then draw attention thru me! Its all good! Sigh.... the sad thing is, i end up eating dinner alone. Somehow, something must have went wrong somewhere. Fret not! Research is in process even as we speak. The day's coming to an end.... and yet again, i end up wif my group of cool dudes n dides yum chaing! After that, i come home and my Mask come undone. I am but just another guy who looks better than most!
So this is a day in my life as a Legendary Swinger.

#Clearly this story does not depict my life so far. Category: Strictly Fictional#

Life Of a Swinging Legend.

2004-10-05T18:40:00.000+08:00

muahahaha.... I've decided to come out from my hiding, unlike Saddam who thought that hiding in a hole was a wise idea. Never hide in a hole if you know you are someone great! He may be a legend, but let me tell you, upon reading this, you'll know who's GREATER! Rumuors have it that i'm a joke. Seriously, i do think my life is a joke! I mean, how many girlfriends can a guy have in a lifetime? I have this funny feeling that lots of guys would die to be in my shoes. I have had over 30 girlfriends til now. Can any of you think of any friends who had that many partners before? I seriously doubt so. Egoist huh? But its all facts! Now you are starting to think, this fella here is a little over the top and so 'easy' , but i'm not all that! In fact, those 30 girls, i've only slept with maybe say 7 to 8 of them. I think with statistics like that, i do not qualify for the 'EASY' category huh? Now, questions questions!!!! Thats whats on everybody's head!! Questions like, 'How the hell does he do that?' , 'Is he clean?' , 'Is he such a great lover?' etc. ANSWERS! How the hell do i do it? Easy...... Charm her! Be spontaneus! Float her in the air and lightly drop her on to a bed of roses! Be as understanding as possible though you can't give in too much. Make her feel important but yet not so important. If gals can give guys the HOT n Cold treatment, guys too can play the same game! Afterall, life's a gamble. Oh fuck, forgot bout one important thing. Fucking don try to be overly desperate yeah! Even me as a guy despise that! Losers out there, get a hold on to it! Now, am i clean? I am very clean! As a matter of fact, i bring my HIV report everywhere i go, just in case i'm about to hit on a chiq. Relax.... doctors seldom lie. If any of you still have doubts, I'm an avid condom fan! I'll buy condoms, use it during sex and take it off half-way thru sex! I utilise but never violate the condom. So after all these... i guess i cleared all doubts about me being a super lover boy eh? Hmmm... still doubting? Solutions to problems.... try it for yourself if you really wanna know! I mean, with all that experience in this game, how bad can i be?

#Cleary this story does not depict my life so far. Category: Strictly Fictional#